The Gem Jar
September 14th, 2012 by mica
We are trying out a new strategy over here– noticing and calling out the good. “Ronan, I like how you gave Austin the first scoop of cereal.” And I slip a little gem in his jar. He smiles when I catch him doing something kind or trying something new or not needing me to remind him to put on his shoes for the fourteenth time.
And when his jar fills, he is rewarded with a fun experience, like an extra tv show or playing a special game with mama or…. Well, he came up with his own idea yesterday. He wanted to do a science experiment about dissolving. I wouldn’t have seen that one coming. He asked my help to get all the baking jars out and he quickly went to work, making note of what happened to the different sugars and flours and other products when dumped in water. He loved it.
The challenge for me is to remember to be consistent about noticing and calling out what I see. Laziness often wins out. But when I can have my eyes open to see, I love how the gem jar changes my orientation from preparing to pounce on the misbehaviors to eagerly hoping to catch the thoughtful, brave and noteworthy gestures. I’ve decided that it’s much more fun being this kind of parent.