Swimmy
November 14th, 2011 by mica
Our good friend, Swimmy, the Beta fish, is no longer with us. Upon discovery of his floating body, a morning of tears and questions ensued.
“Will Swimmy still be blue?” “What will happen to his soft body?” The honesty and candor with which a child like Ronan explores death is fascinating to me.
What was particularly interesting was his reaction to what we should do with Swimmy. The suggestion that Swimmy could go into the “potty” did not go over well, to say the least. Complete offense that his friend should leave the world in this way began a steady chorus of “No potty! No potty!”
The suggestion that we bury Swimmy in the ground silenced the tears. We talked about putting Swimmy in a special box and that Ronan could choose what (if anything) might keep his friend company. Ronan, on his own accord, decided that he’d like to bury his fish with sugar and fresh rose petals and pollen. How does a child with no experience with death envision this kind of burial?
And so Ronan spent the afternoon decorating and preparing Swimmy’s new home. He took charge of digging up the roots to make a space in the earth for his fish.
He gave me explicit instructions for the sign that would adorn the digging hole, just to make sure that the gardeners and other people playing in the garden did not disturb his old fish’s new home.
He said to Swimmy: “I love you” and scooped fresh dirt upon the hole, saying it was fish food that would seep into his body and make him happy.
I know, I know, it’s a fish and I’m talking about a 4 year old, but I find Ronan’s approach and intentionality to be inspiring.
